The ones at the cricket World Cup hahn up big time three times in the Final (Adam Gilchrist, you blutig beauty!), the AFL umpires are absolutely stupid with holding the ball and hands in the back decisions. The games deserve better.

Ideas, aside from letting Ryan White loose on them with a chaingun?

Or a chainsaw.

"Rhode Island Red up", thrice accursed word filter had me wondering what LE was on. I did weightlifting, where you could be penalised if you used your arms to lift the weight once it was above your head or if you muttered a curse under you breath.

Chain guns are very impractical for single person operation, given that they are designed to be mounted in vehicles and rate of fire isn't that impressive, Unless you meant a Minigun, which are the multibarrel weapons mounted on aircraft. I may be strong but I wouldn't be able to move if I had to carry the batteries needed to run the thing.
Chainsaws are also a very impractical weapon for killing people with as they create a considerable mess and have the dangerous (to the person using it) habit of bouncing off the target and coming back if you strike with he wrong part of the chain. Bone can also cause a jam, which just spoils all the fun.
Let me have an FN FAL, AK-47 or SMLE mk.III and I'll show you how influence umpire's decisions.

I was going to say AK-47 originally but it seemed so cliched. -_-